The highly anticipated upcoming season of dynasty fantasy football has had its share of drama including the corrupt, draft-fixing Comish resigning, then un-resigning, then handing over draft responsibilities to Storm Cloud. Below are some unedited comments that were exchanged during the Comish's latest scandal surrounding his resignation:
"Next time I’m on the phone with any of you, keep the fact that I hate you and I am wishing bad things to happen to you in the back of your mind."
"I don’t know you, but I’m going to stick a m80 up your nether regions and let it clean you out."
"Stab yourself in the eyeball till it pops."
"I told you. He pissed me off and is now my bitch. If you want to borrow him for a day or two that’s fine. He does take dictation really well."
"Learn your place [non-Fantasy player] or I will hurricane your ass like I did your little lady’s. She insulted me one time, so I retaliated. I can easily put a tornado up your ass with the snap of my fingers."
"No bite? Piss me off and I’ll make you my secretary. [The Comish] irritated me, so now he is officially my secretary. As I type, he is outside my office sitting in a little half cubicle, taking Dick..tation. "
"Technically he didn’t fuck start my face, just threatened to do so."
"[The Comish] is still the commish. I will still be the puppetmaster."
"The draft will be on a date when I tell everyone. Or I have [The Comish] tell everyone.
On a side note – the season only league for cash will have a draft sometime too. I welcome suggestions for that, although I promise I will not isten to any of them. Also – I am pretty sure I’m buying the NFL direct tv package for my monstrous tv. You are welcome to come watch, drink, and drool sometime. Lastly – light a Molotov cocktail and throw it off a wall and set yourselves on fire."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
amazing how fast the dictation jokes get old
Post a Comment