Friday, July 27, 2007

Oh...forgot to mention!


What the hell kind of Cowboys fans come out of San Antonio? The crowd was interspersed with the random Quincy Carter jersey sighting. I mean seriously...it is time to drop $50 and get a new jersey.

Training Camp Report


As Jacob requested here is my report from Cowboys training camp. I sat in on both practices on Thursday. The morning practice was in full pads and the afternoon practice was in shoulder pads. In the morning there were somewhere around 4,000 spectators and in the afternoon the number grew to around 8,000. T.O. is of course the star of training camp and is the last one on the field before practice starts. As soon as he exits the tunnel on to the field the Alamodome erupts. The only player who comes close to getting the type of reception T.O. does is Romo. D-Ware is going to have a sick season. He has definately gotten bigger and stronger over the offseason while at the same time looking as if he lost weight.
The play of the day had to have been a handoff to Marion Barber on a stretch play that got strung out close to the sideline when Bradie James came in and literally knocked Barber's helmet off. Good thing Barber had all those dreadlocks to cushion the blow.
Romo seemed to be having trouble completing passes to WRs but was on the money to both Witten and Fasano across the middle. It actually looks like we are going to look to Fasano as a viable receiving target this year.
On another note...I definately choose the wrong profession. Why the hell am I not an NFL kicker. They by far have the easiest jobs in the world. They come out, stretch with the team and then proceed to stand and talk to each other on the sideline all practice. Occasionally on a break one of them will get a chance to kick 2 or three field goals and maybe boot a punt or two. Not that we need to focus on the kicking game...I mean it hasn't cost us any games or anything.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Carrie Underwood Debate

Per the emails that have been flying around, I decided to find out if Carrie Underwood really is NAR. This is an important poll, so please take it seriously.

You can check all that apply.



Is Carrie Underwood NAR?
Yes, she's definitely NAR
No, she's definitely not NAR
She might be, but she's not NAR enough to date Eli.
Damon Huard is the number 2 quarterback in the league.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Good Times


Is that me in the background laughing at the Eagles fan? I was definately at this game but I know I have never owned a Keyshawn jersey.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

J-Nice's First Round Pick: Chris Hansen

This pick is pure gold. Fucking gold. While all your pussy wide receivers are catching touchdown passes and having 100 yard receiving games I'm gonna be catching predators like a motherfucker. Hansen is where its at and you all are gonna need to recognize. Let's have a closer look at Hansen's game. Hansen is very capable of multiple predator games, and we all know how huge that can be. And don't overlook Hansen's versatility. Hansen's rookie campaign also included the caputuring of ID thiefs. Later in the year, after all you dumbasses have passed on Hansen and are begging me for a trade, you only have yourself to blame and you will only have one thing to say..."oops".

IDP RULES

Aight...I updated some league rules. We are going to have 5 starting roster spots for individual defensive players (1 LB, 2 DL, 1 DB, and 1 UTIL). Also, I increased the roster size (12 starters and 12 bench positions) to accommodate the new defensive players. As far as the defensive scoring rules are concerned...they are listed below:

each sack - 3 points
fumble return TD - 6 points
int return TD - 6 points
blocked kick return TD - 6 points
blocked kick - 3 points
each int - 3 points
each fumble recovered - 3 points
each fumble forced - 1 point
each safety - 6 points
each assisted tackle - .5 points
each solo tackle - 1 point
each tackle for loss - .5 bonus point
each pass defended - .5 point
each Demarcus Ware Sack - automatic loss for any team owned by a non-cowboys fan

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Housekeeping Matters

Ok guys...the draft is approaching and we need to decide some matters. I was reading a few articles online about different rule formats with a dynasty league and a few of them suggested that a salary cap system be used to even things up as far as draft picks go. I thought this sounded interesting. What does everyone think?

Sweetness


This year the ESPN Fantasycast is going to be free. Live score updates without having to pay $10! Now you will all have the privilege of watching in real time as my team absolutely destroys yours.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

PM

Demarcus Ware Dallas Cowboys Highlight Video

About 2 minutes in...some chump QB for the Beagles gets owned

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Storm Coming

I can't believe Storm Cloud didn't tell us he had his own music video. Shame on you Stormy

I Own J-Nice

Whether it is the first annual holding your breath contest or absolute domination in NCAA football (45-14) it has become apparent that I OWN J-NICE!

Thats right J-Nice...I am calling you a Pussy!

Monday, July 16, 2007

Kickholder


Kickholder,
We know your insane ability to research (especially when it comes to 1970s obscure Dallas Cowboys trivia). So in an effort to make this fair for the rest of us, I propose that you don't get a draft pick until the third or fourth round. No worries...Keyshawn "Meyshawn" should still be around at that time.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Photo Shop Posts


Fellas, I'll be honest- I have used photo-shop on at least two prior posts to score some trash talking points against Storm Cloud, and in all honesty Storm just doesn't seem to have what it takes to respond in kind- his replies are weak, like decaf coffee with too much cream. So, as my picture here included would suggest, I am going to be the bigger man and propose a cease fire of photo shop posts that wreck shop on Storm Cloud until he can 1.) figure out how to trash talk and 2.) figure out how to use photoshop.


Very Truly Yours,


Score a Homerun

PS. I am not going to give anyone autographed copies of my picture, I have already given about 20 to J-Nice and when I realized that he was plastering them all over his wall and wasn't really giving them to members of my fan club I had to cut that off.

Bad Day for Storms Future Children

The worst part about this is Storm seems to be enjoying this. What a Sicko!

Bad Day for Timeteo and Aggie05

This picture was taken shortly before Timeteo and Aggie05 were pulled over by the police. While it didn't take all that long (the police are used to cars w/ Aggie stickers having gas pump handles stuck in their car), Timeteo and Aggie05 were still delayed by 30 minutes.


As a result, Timeteo and Aggie05 didn't get to participate in the pre-game warmup dance, that they so love.



Poor Aggies. Poor, poor Aggies.

J-Nice, The Commish, and Storm Cloud on Their Fav Ride

Just for reference, from Left to Right, J-nice, Commish, Storm Cloud

Friday, July 13, 2007

J-Nice's first three picks

How About Something Sports Related

Since this is a league that is designed to go year to year...do you draft Adrian Peterson this year despite the fact he will be splitting time with Chester Taylor in hopes that he will become the sole bread-winner so to speak in the future? Or do you draft him under the assumption that he will always be on a team that splits time between two backs and hope that he can put up moderate numbers as a number two option on your fantasy roster. Or because he is a Sooner do you not even touch him?

ESPN Fantasy Column:

Are Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor the new Laurence Maroney and Corey Dillon?
Huntley and Brinkley. Shaggy and Scooby Doo. "Twilight Zone" reruns and the drunken munchies.
There are some things that just go together, and last year, Laurence Maroney and Corey Dillon were one of them. Er, two of them? You get my drift. Anyway, Maroney converted 175 carries into 745 yards and seven scores; Dillon turned 199 carries into 812 yards and 13 touchdowns; and each turned his fantasy owners into psychotic blubbering nincompoops. Until Maroney got hurt late, these two New England backs were a high-powered time-share in the truest sense of the term, and it stank, because by themselves, they'd have been every-week fantasy gold.
Patriots fans won't need to worry about who'll carry the mail for them in '07, as Dillon has gone the way of Matt LeBlanc. But will the same circumstances occur in the Minnesota backfield this season?
Taylor was a nifty fantasy surprise in '07. Long considered a third-down back, Chester Taylor carried it 303 times for 1,216 yards and caught 42 passes for 288 yards. That's full-time-back production from a guy who's 5-foot-11 like you're in the running to be Heidi Klum's gigolo. Nevertheless, the Vikings had University of Oklahoma running back Adrian Peterson fall into their laps at No. 7 in April's draft, and (wisely) couldn't pass. Over his final two collegiate seasons, Peterson failed to live up to his Heisman-worthy freshman year (1,925 yards rushing, 15 touchdowns in 2004), but some of that can be attributed to slackening offensive talent around him. And, of course, the rest can be attributed to Peterson's own health problems; he dislocated a shoulder, suffered through a prolonged high-ankle sprain, then broke his collarbone in '06, causing him to miss seven games.
Both these guys will get plenty of touches this season. The quarterback is incredibly green Tarvaris Jackson, and with Steve Hutchinson and Bryant McKinnie on the left side of this offensive line, it's an offense built to run. The real questions are: Who'll get the most touches? Will one of these running backs have more value than the other? And can either or both wind up having starter-worthy fantasy value?
My choice to have more value in '07 is Peterson. He's that good. We're talking about Deuce McAllister before the knee injury (although Peterson doesn't have Deuce's receiving hands). Peterson is big (6-foot-2, 218), fast (he ran a 4.37 40-yard dash for scouts) and strong (345-pound bench, 530-pound squat). He's significantly better than Maroney was coming out of college, and look how excited we are about Maroney. And think about it: This isn't a parallel situation. In New England last year, Dillon was able to maintain his fantasy value -- and vulture Maroney's -- because he was the big guy who knew how to get things done in close. That's not the case with the smallish Taylor, who did have a lot of goal-line carries in '06 (15, which put him in the top 10 in the NFL), but still scored only six rushing TDs.
I've no question that the Vikings will begin the year splitting carries between their two primary backs. I just don't think it'll last because there's a natural solution here. Taylor is a quick open-field runner and a very accomplished receiver, which makes him perfect for third down (and first- or second-down long-yardage situations). By midseason, Peterson will be getting twice as many carries from scrimmage as Taylor, although I'm sure Brad Childress will want to keep his rookie as fresh as possible, so no one will get 25 totes in a contest. And when things get close on the goal line, Peterson will be your man, no questions asked.
The bottom line is that unless you're in a point-per-reception league, the Vikings will assign Peterson most of the tasks that earn you fantasy points. He'll carry it most; he'll rack up the most yards; and he'll score the short touchdowns. Taylor will have some value, but nothing like last year's. I have Peterson verging on the top-20 fantasy backs going into training camp, while Taylor probably has to be just outside the top 30. The caveats, of course, are that Peterson has to stay healthy (no sure thing) and that he has to avoid a case of the rookie fumbles. In his three seasons at Oklahoma, Peterson lost only six fumbles, but he dropped it 17 times, often in the open field when he wasn't square to the tackler. That's a potential weakness NFL defenses will test early. Still, this kid's going to be phenomenal. He probably won't get you Dillon's 13 touchdowns from '06, but I daresay that by midseason he'll offer more fantasy consistency (with lower peaks) than either Dillon or Maroney did last year.

Excuses Excuses


A picture I took of J-Nice while he was typing his last post!

J-Nice is Gay

J-Nice is Gay

Breaking News: "I'm so tired of this"


In a surprising turn of events "america's team" announces that he is tired of the bitching. Well the people have spoken and we are on to your little scam. We know what you are doing. You thought you had us fooled but not so fast. We recognize a scandle when we see one and this my friends is a scandle. After some research I have uncovered the dark underbelly of this scandle. And you can be sure it is dark. This so called "random generator" is an entire webstie fabricated by America's team, and Capital punishment to get the first two picks the the fantasy football draft. That's right, they made up a website for the purpose of scamming a fantasy football league. We are on to you two, and you may consider yourself "called out".

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Let the Bitching Begin

Ok guys...the draft order was generated. Storm Cloud was a witness to the procedure and its randomness. Capital Punishment...you have to be the luckiest SOB on the planet! In any case I know that some are going to gripe and complain so let it begin now. Here is the RANDOM order:

1. Capital Punishment
2. America's Team
3. Slutty Merkins
4. Birmingham Bangers
5. Dallas Dominance
6. Houston Luv Ya Blue
7. Gut Packs
8. Admission by a Party Opponent
9. Da Burgh Yinzers
10. Private T-Squared
11. Team acblay
12. Team Kickholder
13. Team Shull
14. Team Chump

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

UPDATE

Ok...a lot has been going on today (not so much as far as studying is concerned). Here is the latest:

1.) We are going to keep the league at 14.
2.) Because of the additions of some new teams a number of people (including some with high draft picks) have said that the only way to be fair would be to randomize the draft order again. People are going to bitch either way so I agree that the draft order should be randomized for a final time.

Draft

So what's the deal with the draft now that we have more teams?

League Info

By popular demand, the league has now grown to 14. I think the best option with 14 teams will be to have two divisions of 7 teams each. Two divisional winners plus 4 wildcards will make the playoffs.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

The Men of Sports, Booze, and Law


I don't know if we are still looking for pictures that really encapsulate this blog, but I thought this picture of Timoteo, J-Nice, Score A Homerun, and Storm Cloud chilling at the hotel before the Aggie-Buffalo wedding was pretty sweet.

I know this is late but I had to contribute. So it is predicted to be a pretty active Stormin Steven season. Analyst predict over twice the heavey Steven storms from last year. To your left is just a taste of 3 Steven storms from the pacific last year.

Things To Know About Me

I have won my yahoo league two years in a row now. What does that mean for you? A few things: 1) I will be dominating this league; 2) I am a certified Fantasy Football Expert; and 3) If you make a sufficient offer I might be willing to share some of my wisdom (cash and checks only).

Other things to know about me: 1) I like long walks on the beach; 2) I live with a happily married gay couple (we will just call them E-Train and Mutiny); 3) Beer is my friend; and 4) I once stole a lap dance at showtime from one of my aforementioned gay roomates.

Now ya know.

Draft Info

In hopes of providing better planning I am going to use a different site (www.fftoolbox.com) to generate a random draft order for our league. We contemplated expanding the league to 16 teams but I do not think that is going to work. We still need 3 teams. You should receive an e-mail with your random draft order...I will plug that in to our league.

Monday, July 9, 2007

We've hit the big time.

So I am going through all the old posts and removing last names. If anyone cares. A search on google for "G@rner 07" brought up this site as the top listing for someone browsing the internet. Same with "who is more now". Which is an interesting search, I'll leave it to you to figure that one out. Anyway, I'd prefer to be somewhat anonymous.

So I recommend from here we use our appropriate call signs like fighter pilots. Because we're cool. I'll respond to Gutpack, Returning Champion, and even storm cloud in honor of this.

Oh and Commish--you got two hits to our site from your facebook link.

AND-we've had one visitor from the UK. I wanna meet that guy sometime.


Steelers Hall of Famers: 22
Cowboys Hall of Famers: 16

Steeler's vs. Cowboys in Superbowl: 2-1
Cowboys vs. Steelers in Superbowl: 1-2

# of times a Steeler failed to successfully commit suicide in '06: 0

# of times a Cowboy failed to successfully commit suicide in '06: 1

A Few Stats

Cowboys All Time Vs AFC - 85 - 76
Steelers All Time Vs NFC - 204 - 256
Steelers All Time Vs NFC East - 97 - 144
Cowboys All Time Vs Steelers - 14 - 12

What?

NFL Predictions

It is time for some predictions for the upcoming season. Everyone submit theirs for some quality smack talking potential. Here are my divisional predictions, in no particular order:

NFC EAST - Dallas
NFC WEST - Seattle
NFC NORTH - Chicago
NFC SOUTH - New Orleans
WILD CARDS - Philadelphia, St. Louis

AFC EAST - New England
AFC WEST - San Diego
AFC NORTH - Baltimore
AFC SOUTH - Indy
WILD CARDS - Kansas City, Cincy (sorry Jacob...not even Sepulveda is going to make up for losing Joey Porter).

DRAFT

From what people have been telling me it seems that the night of August 10 (Friday) is the best day to do our draft. Jacob and I will be in D.C. and will meet up with Drew, Fred, and anybody else that Drew has join the league for a draft party. It should be a welcome relief after many hours of Jacob and I interviewing with various firms in D.C. and of course by interviewing I mean drinking all day because nobody wanted to interview us. In any event, let me know if that works for you.

League Business

Ok...on a more serious note there are a few things that we need to be thinking about:

1.) We still have between 5-7 spots to fill in this league. Suggestions on who would be a good fit?

2.) We also need to start thinking about a draft date. Drew, I know you want to draft when I am up in D.C...if that is the case we need to get the word out because that date is quickly approaching.

3.) Is everyone ok with how the league was set up last year as far as divisions, rules, etc...if not send your suggestions and I might get to them in the next 8 months or so.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Little Stevie Storm Cloud



Little Stevie Storm Cloud was employed about a trash-talking blog for such work as he was built for, posting and pulling a few comments on and off the posts. One morning he was wondering how to respond to a post by Score a Homerun and so he asked the great j-Nice for help, but j-Nice said: "I can't; that is too much a pull for me." Then Little Stevie asked another blogger, and another, only to hear excuses and be refused. At last in desperation Little Stevie, the Little Storm Cloud that he was said to himself: "I think I can," and he set himself to thinking of a comeback all on his own. As he went on Little Stevie Storm Cloud kept bravely puffing faster and faster, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can."

Then as his mental acquity was near the top of its limits, limits that could so easily come to the other bloggers if they had actually wanted to help Little Stevie, he went more slowly, but still kept saying, "I--think--I--can, I--think--I--can." He reached the top of his mental prowress by dint of brave effort and realized that his best come back would be to say he was going to tell his mom and post a picture of Score A Homerun. Congratulating himself he said, "I thought I could, I thought I could."


To think of hard things and say, "I can't" is sure to mean "Nothing done." To refuse to be daunted and insist on saying, "I think I can," is to make sure of being able to say triumphantly by and by, "I thought I could, I thought I could, and I told my mom."

Pretending to study

Okay - I need input on several things. (J-nice that is not a come on, so keep it in your pants).

1) I think editing a picture and putting "Sports, Booze, and Law" would be cool. Kind of like a logo. So I need a picture of someone drinking while playing sports with a law book in their hand or something like that. Preferably a midget. Or a one-legged stripper. Or a combination of them.


2) Send me embarrassing pictures of members and I'll add them to the sidebar. Like a picture of J-Nice and the girl he won the hog'n competition with. Plus I have nothing on Fred. Since he's friends with the Kent boys he is probably a crazy mofo and I want to see that.

3) I might change the template to add the pictures on the left side. If you have a problem with that speak now.

4) We need to round up more people. We can get Ned I figure. And _________. Who else can we get. Drew probably has someone else. Or we can round it out with J-nice's gay highschool friends if need be.

--SC

"Cowboys the Elite of the Elite"


Anyone seen the new series on Sportscenter "Whos Now?" If you watched it today the matchup is between A-Rod and T.O. The panel discussion that ensued had an interesting point where one of the panelists noted that both A-Rod and T.O. play for the "elite of the elite" in their respective leagues.

Saturday, July 7, 2007


I zoomed in on that last photo...

I think I hang out with the guy in this picture. He looks so familiar but i just can't put my finger on how I know him.

Friday, July 6, 2007

New Countdown

Storm Cloud...check out the countdown that Cordon has on his blog. It is alot snazier. See what you can do.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Storm Cloud's '07-'08 Roster

As the commissioner of the league I have decided to set Storm Cloud's roster for the upcoming season...it will consist of the following:

QB - David Carr
RB - Ricky Williams
RB - Wali Lundy
WR - Jacoby Jones
WR - David Anderson
TE - Jeb Putzier
Def./ST - Texans
K - Kris Brown

Cash Money Homey

We could all throw a couple bucks into this deal. Then at the end I will have something to show for my victory.

Score of Homerun

I think we could probably see if Score a Homerun wants to do it. He gets into this kind of thing I think. Not sure how much football he watches though.

Countdown to Opening Day

http://www.7is7.com/otto/countdown.html?year=2007&month=9&date=6&hrs=20&min=30&sec=0&tz=local&title=Countdown%20To%20NFL%20%2707-%2708&lang=en&show=dhms&mode=r&cdir=down&bgcolor=%23CCFFFF&fgcolor=%23000000

Commish's First Post

We need to start thinking about who else we want to extend the privilege of joining our league. Also, submit any suggestions as far as the league structure goes (rules, divisions, drafting, etc.). Baseball season was boring me to death so I decided to go ahead and kickoff the fantasy football season a bit early. That and Storm Cloud is a FAG!

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

First Post

Okay, here's our blog for our badass Fantasy Football league. I will figure this whole system out tomorrow in class, and then add people as moderators or whatever so that they can post their smack talk.

--SC